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At this point last year, I was on a TV programme with three singers. Present were a hip-hop artist with Ghanaian roots, a big pop star, plus a renowned mezzo-soprano. We were in the heart of winter. Just the night prior, I attended a longtime friend's 60th birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space in the Surrey region. The festivities were fun, but now, simply to make conversation, I pondered how it was possible to avoid catching a cold when half the people at the party were players in a symphony of coughs, sneezes, snuffles and nose-blows. Incidentally, what explains the trumpet-like nose blows, and some do not? A topic for future discussion.

The Reaction from the Trio

When I brought up my evening, this trio of troubadours in the TV green room took two actions. To begin with, they shrunk away from me slightly. Second, they launched into an animated conversation about preventing colds which naturally enough given their line of work was a major concern for them. I get that, yet I'm personally involved – I must avoid colds at all costs since my colds are more severe than others'. I don’t have a medical certificate to confirm this, yet I'm certain it's factual. My illnesses drag on. My nasal passages are more congested, my throat is scratchier, my coughing fits are louder, barkier and apparently endless. My family, alert to the initial throat noises indicating trouble ahead, often shoo me away or leave themselves. Back when I presented football on ITV, my teammates behind the scenes learned to recognize the signals. “Earpieces out!” the studio director would holler to the staff prior to me blasting their ears, damaging their headset equipment.

Dealing With Blocked Noses

Regarding my nasal issues, don’t start me. Aerosols, liquids, even the sharp aroma of warm spirits my mum prescribes … they all work for a while before admitting defeat. Nothing is quite as sad than a Brummie tone uttered with blocked nasal passages. In other words, it can sound nasal even normally. At least this elicits sympathy, though that's not necessarily beneficial. In my first year away at university, separated from family care, the janitor in our dorm took pity on me. “I have the perfect solution, you poor thing. I'll return shortly.” She was very lovely, very Irish, and adamant that I consume the fresh, skinless onion she presented to me. She observed me eating it. Kind soul. No improvement resulted, unfortunately, apart from sending my guts into raptures and making my breath smell terrible.

The Mezzo-Soprano’s Health Routine

Therefore, I hate colds and am quite sure that prevention is better than the cures that whether folk remedies or not, are ineffective. I focused carefully along with the rapper and the pop star while she explained her health practices. With forthcoming bookings to sing for her supper over Christmas, she was highly committed. She commanded us to sanitize hands regularly all winter long based on her explanation in addition, specific measures were necessary when it came to parties and what not. Before any event, she suggested a few applications of a nasal spray up each nostril – even if healthy. Drastic. I like it. And, listen to this, she mandated a second dose after the party with another couple of squirts of the same stuff.

The Results

I followed suit. And I must admit I remained cold-free. There were drawbacks: the many containers I acquired, mislaid, bought again, located, and so on. Plus the frustrating time you realise you’ve sat on the little vessel of hand gel stored in your pocket and it's oozing out. Still, all a price worth paying. And now winter’s upon us again, I'm fully prepared with the mezzo-soprano’s recommended ordnance. I'm set for the fight.